On this week’s episode of The Margarita Confessionals we had JD Harris, owner of Glory Days Apparel, on the show to give a single guy’s take on some of the questions we field most frequently from listeners.
First, we put JD through a series of rapid fire questions where he had to pick one word to describe each of the dating apps. “Current” was his choice for Bumble, so we wanted to know his tips for overcoming writer’s block when trying to compose a message on the app.
“Sure you can just say, ‘Hey, how was your weekend?’ but the way you can increase your odds of getting a response, even if there’s just photos, (is to) look at them. If I’m wearing an Ohio State shirt say, ‘Oh I have a friend who’s a Buckeye fan.’ Find something you can relate to. Or if I had a funny photo, I like when someone will give me a little knock and put me down a little bit.”
From ghosting to actually getting a response on Bumble, here’s what you need to know about dating right now:
You put in the effort and come up with something cute and flirty, and yet so many guys don’t respond on Bumble. What’s the deal?
JD explains that it could be a number of things. “I might go a few days and forget I have it. It could be that, or it could be they’re playing the odds game and they swiped right on everyone and are seeing what works.”
We also had to ask about the thought process behind the empty bio, which seems to happen a lot, regardless of your preferred app.
“I’ve not put a bio in and it’s been out of laziness, no other reason. If it’s something they’re serious about, though, they should take the time to do a small paragraph.” However, JD also acknowledged that some users might be afraid to say something that could be off-putting to potential matches. And he suggested some guys might not fully realize it’s something that matters.
One of the questions we’re asked most frequently is about how to tell when it’s time to stop swiping. Ali and I weighed in with our take during this episode, but we wanted to get a guy’s feedback on the issue.
“I don’t think there’s a set time or way you should do it. It comes down to how comfortable you are together. It could be a month, it could be two months, it depends on how quickly the relationship is progressing.” He explains that if you’re uncomfortable having the conversation, this probably indicates that it’s not time yet or that it’s not the right match. Agreed.
Ghosting: A frustrating situation for both men and women alike. JD offered some thoughts on why people feel the need to pull the ole Casper.
“I’ve been on both sides of it and got ghosted not too long ago. What would make me ghost a girl is — it’s terrible — but early on if you haven’t gotten too deep into the dating (date-wise, maybe 2-3 dates max) you realize, ‘This isn’t who I want to be with and it’s not someone I want to spend time with.’ It might take a couple dates to figure that out. Whether it’s they’re annoying or you cant get along with them or you’re not on the same wavelength as far as personality or humor or interests. If it’s early on you can do it. After that you should have a conversation.”
Got a question you’d like us to cover on an upcoming episode of The Margarita Confessionals? E-mail us firstname.lastname@example.org or tweet us @margaritatalk!
It’s Margarita Monday! Each week, we publish a story about dating by Lauren Levine and/or Ali Washburn to go along with the latest episode of “The Margarita Confessionals,” a podcast for the jaded dater. You can find it on Soundcloud or iTunes.
Photo: Lauren Levine