At any given moment, I have text messages going about a myriad of topics. There’s the therapeutic talk of relationships happening with my high school friend. A group text with my fiancé’s whole family where we share accomplishments, plans and humorous observations. I text my best friend daily — sometimes just an alternating chorus of “How are you?” “Exhausted.” “Me too.”
It’s not earth-shattering stuff but it keeps me afloat to know someone else is in survival mode some days.
I am so deeply grateful for the connection that text messaging affords me. It’s a feeling similar to the first time I read song lyrics on someone else’s AIM account that resonated with me — we get older, we mature, but we still need to feel like someone else gets it.
It is no longer a Dashboard Confessional song but a blog post about raising kids or a meme about cracking a bottle of wine that soothes my frazzled nerves. My people. They’re out there — even if I can’t always find the time to see them in person.
However, sometimes I get the much needed reminder that the business of friendship cannot be conducted entirely via electronics. I recently had a friend over to help with some wedding related stuff but it ended up being so cathartic to talk out what is going on in our lives. Holding her baby, her helping my daughter, getting to see the playful banter she shares with her partner. All of this connects us in ways that the internet and digital stuff can’t.
Admittedly, the first thing we are tempted to put last on our “to do” list is making time for friends. Lately, I find myself resisting that temptation. I am making time for Thursday night dinners and Sunday morning park strolls.
Sure, I know what my friends are doing all day long thanks to modern technology but I can’t see how their kids have grown or smell the new perfume they’ve been raving about.
A lot of time, we preach the importance of “me” time to new parents. Make time to read or put on makeup or do whatever makes you feel your best. I think it is just important to focus on “we” time, too. Rally your village, pull them close and send out that group text –to arrange some face to face time.
Photo Credit: Jamie Killian
This story was written for CharlotteFive’s latest channel for parents in the QC, called QC Playground. Sign up for the weekly QC Playground newsletter here.